November 8, 2008

De”Funk” Master

Posted in Journal tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 3:00 pm by Jenn



Exhibit A

Yesterday my personal goal of the day was to rid my husband’s favorite T-shirt (exhibit A) of the horrendous odor it has been harboring for the last month. 

It was finally to the point that I couldn’t take it anymore.  This shirt had to go!  I made the mistake of telling Scott the night before that I was going to throw the shirt away and that is when this conversation ensued…

Me:  “Babe, your Dover shirt smells horrible.  I’ve washed it repeatedly, but the smell just won’t leave.  It smells like ass, I’m going to throw it away ok?”

Scott:  “No!”  “I’ll wash it”.

Me:  “Scott I’ve washed it over and over again.  The smell is embedded, it comes out of the dryer smelling like dirty gym clothes.  It’s time to throw it away.”

Scott:  “You just can’t throw it away!”.  “Grandpa gave me that shirt.”  “It’s a collector’s item.”  “You can’t get those anymore.” (I am not making this up folks…those words escaped his lips…)

Me (trying my hardest not to laugh): “Um, no, it’s a smelly old T-shirt.”

Scott: “Don’t throw it away Jenn, I’m not kidding.”

Me:  “Ok!  I won’t throw it away, but do not put it in the hamper and DO NOT wash it with any of my clothes.”

Scott (laughing because he thinks I’m over reacting…he REALLY can’t smell the stench this shirt is producing):  “Whatever.” 

Please refer back to exhibit A.  See the date on that shirt?  2006.  It’s almost 2009.  That means he has been wearing this shirt to work out in for close to 3 years.  Yep, 3 years.  I’m serious people the shirt REEKS!

So yesterday when I went to do laundry there it was that smell.  I don’t know how to explain it other than onion and rotten cheese mixed with sweaty gym socks that have dried.  That’s the smell of this shirt and that is the odor that hits me in the face everytime I do laundry.  Yesterday was the last straw.  I was going to get rid of that smell or the shirt was going to have to go!  I couldn’t stand it anymore.

I decided to check my handy household reference book for ideas…nothing.  Ok, next I surfed the internet and found ideas like trying these enzyme breakers and this bleach free bleach.  Well that would be great if I lived in the real world, but I live in Azerbaijan so there has got to be an easy way to get rid of this smell.  I start using my brain and come up with baking soda.  I’ll soak it in baking soda.  Off to the kitchen I go.

I took a large bowl and filled it with about 8 cups of HOT tap water.  I then took a box of baking soda and just started dumping.  The fizz and bubbles started, I threw the shirt in and stirred it with a spoon.  The whole time I’m thinking what else can I put in here.  I was becoming crazed.  I started opening my cabinets looking for things to throw in…like a witch’s brew.  That’s when I spotted the vinegar.  I grabbed the bottle and dumped some of that in.  LOL.  It was like a science experiment.  It foamed up and everything.  I continued to stir, I added a little more hot water and I waited.  I waited about 4 hours and then smelled the shirt.  It smelled like vinegar.  I threw it back in the water and decided it could sit a while longer.

About this time Scott comes home and sees his shirt in the bowl.  “What are you doing to my shirt?”.  I tell him that I’m trying to get the odor out.  He laughs.  That pisses me off.

In the meantime I get on the computer and send a message to my sister-in-law asking her to send Dover football shirts for Christmas.  I also email my mother-in-law and ask her how she got the funk out of his clothes when he was growing up. 

Now it’s time to start making dinner and I have to figure out what to do with this shirt that is in the bowl in my sink.  I figure I’ll wash it and if the smell is still there I will quietly make the shirt disappear….not throw it away, but hide it so he can’t find it for a LONG TIME.

I start the washing machine….HOT WATER, HEAVY SOIL, and a BIG SCOOP of Tide.  For good measure I soaked the shirt in Febreeze and threw it in to wash.  When the washer stopped I pulled the shirt out and sniffed….I sniffed again….and again.  The smell was gone!  I couldn’t believe it.  THE. SMELL. WAS. GONE!

So there you have it.  I have officially earned given myself the title of De”Funk” Master.  I will NOT let a funky gym shirt get the best of me! 

And not that you are interested but tonight’s a big game for Dover…they are playing Canton South in the Semifinals.  Come on DOVER!  Scottie needs a new TShirt!  Go TORNADOES!



  1. wineymomma said,

    Next time you are in need of enzyme cleaner try meat tenderizer…just be careful not to leave it on too long…it will actually dissolve/digest he fabric but it works great on stains that need the extra umph of an enzyme!

  2. Mom said,

    You should now send this to the Queen of Clean!!!!

  3. sjsmart said,

    I think got a little happy a little too soon. I sniffed the shirt yesterday and I could smell a faint “gym” odor. Dover won their last game so now this week they are heading for the state semi-final…hopefully they win so he’ll get another shirt. I think that is my only hope for getting rid of this one.

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